I’ve been up late the past few nights, working on the draft of my current novel which is going out to beta readers this week. Maybe it’s tiredness – maybe I’m feeling a bit vulnerable about writing in a new genre – but whatever has been going on in my head, yesterday I seriously considered giving up being an author.
It’s like this: You work on something for months or even years, polishing it, making it the best you can. Finally your book goes out into the wider world – and this is the same whether you’ve self-published or published traditionally. You’ve done all you can to make it the best you can, but even so, someone who has most likely never written a book themselves, maybe never done anything truly creative in their life, who is not a literary critic and has paid £1.99 to download your book, can completely wipe the floor with you – say whatever they like about your writing and you as a person – in public. On one of the biggest websites in the world. For anyone to read. And there is nothing you can do about it, no comeback, you just have to suck it up because you dared to publish a damn book.
It’s not just the vulnerability, though. Lately I’ve been thinking about how I used to write all the time, even when there was no reason for it. I always had a book on the go, a notepad by the bed, characters vying for attention in my head. I did it for the love of it, because not writing would have been like not breathing to me. I’ve been pondering this for a while now: what actually is the point of making up a story? Why do writers write? To entertain people? So you can sell it and make money? Or just because you love to write, because you are compelled to write? Prior to May 16th 2012 this last reason was the explanation for my writing activities – there was no readership, no expectation of publication. I just wrote stuff.
And now? Well, it is different now. When you’re writing for publication there is a different vibe that’s hard to explain. Maybe it is the self-publishing aspect of it – perhaps I’d feel less exposed if I had an agent and a publisher and a whole raft of people involved in the process, making decisions, sharing the responsibility. And the flack, if it’s not well-received. Or maybe that’s got nothing to do with it. I’ve never been very good at having a job, you see. And now there is a plan, there are readers, there are deadlines and expectations – and royalties, which are fantastic of course, but all this adds up to a J.O.B.
Well, I’m far from lazy – hard work doesn’t faze me one bit. But I lay in bed last night and thought about giving it up and doing something else. I love starting businesses, I could turn my hand to anything pretty much – I have so many ideas and projects I’d hardly be short of things to fill my time and turn a profit. And no, I didn’t come to any conclusions. Perhaps it will all turn out to be nothing more than new book/new genre jitters – hopefully the responses from my beta readers will reassure me that I haven’t been wasting the last six months of my life and Murder at the Maples will make it out into the world. What do you think? Have you ever felt like giving something up but found it hard to understand exactly why? Looking forward to reading your thoughts, Jo x
June 25, 2013 at 8:15 am
😦 Sounds like an annoying load of thoughts.
It must be terrifying putting your work out there for the world, and you are vulnerable and open to attacks. It’s a very brave thing to do I think – like you said, having nobody to hide behind as everything is your own doing. But you have done everything very well, no matter what your mind may tell you at times. And you must find something to keep the niggling insecurities at bay, because you should award no time to them, you are completely undeserved of them.
I think because the process has gotten so ‘formal’ now, that’s probably why it feels weird. If writing is like breathing, can you imagine thinking too hard about the process. In one breath, the air filling your lungs, how many seconds has it taken, it’s time to breath out again etc etc etc. Just awful. Like when you focus too hard on driving or cycling, you suddenly find you struggle to shift to third gear or something because you are focusing way too much on what is usually an automatic thought. The same applies to you with writing. It’s like it is being over-thought.
I for one can’t wait to read Flora. I’m pretty sure there is no way you can screw it up to be honest. You can write. Just because it’s a different genre, all your writing skills aren’t going to suddenly go out of the window. And yes some people may not like it, but it’s their loss. I mean, think about how many people liked 50 shades – and that was a hilarious, childish, pile of objectifying women crap. But then there’s the people that know better. If there are some dumb arses who completely slate your work with no intelligible reason, just look this up: Dunning-Kruger. I try to keep it in mind a lot 😉
Well what a complete ramble…Sorry 😛
Have a nice, productive day.
Em x
June 25, 2013 at 5:39 pm
It wasn’t a ramble – it was really wise! All those years studying psychology weren’t wasted 🙂 I agree about the breathing analogy 100% – I think it’s an effect of close editing that you become over-aware of the process. Thanks for your supportive words, Emma. Really means a lot x
June 25, 2013 at 8:18 am
Hi Joanne
I think putting any creative work out to the public is an heroic act. I hope you get positive feedback back, I know that I am very much looking forward to the new book.
Your writing is good, easy to read and fun at the right points. I am very sorry you have hit a low point. Please keep going and after Murder at the Maples maybe a small break?
Take care
June 25, 2013 at 5:55 pm
Thank you so much for the positivity. The break is in sight – I’m almost there 🙂
June 25, 2013 at 8:24 am
I absolutely forbid you to give up writing, Joanne. So that’s an end to it. On the subject of hurtful reviews I’d say it’s a feature of our brains that we are always drawn to the negative comments and tend to give them undue prominence. The reality is that a potential reader looking at reviews will not be so biased: he/she will look at all the reviews – and yours are overwhelmingly good ones. Step back and think like a reader.
… and keep writing as long as the writing part gives you enjoyment. If the time ever comes when you don’t enjoy the writing, then that’s the time to give up.
As for all the rest of it … well, maybe it’s time to re-read the Rudyard Kipling poem “If”. Especially the bit about Triumph and Disaster? http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm
June 25, 2013 at 5:58 pm
John, you are so brilliant. You’re such a wonderul source of support and advice – and thanks for the list below as well, it really made me smile. I’m going to print it out and pin it on my noticeboard – along with the comments here. Honestly, I’ve been so touched by everyone’s response. I didn’t really post this for a whinge, but it’s amazing to find I’ve got so much support. Very touching. x
June 25, 2013 at 8:36 am
Jo, you are a writer, end of. What you need is a break from it. And maybe a less demanding manager (i.e. yourself!) You are running to a very ambitious schedule, and I understand the reasons why – the old “how to sell more books: writer more books” situation. But you need to look after yourself and enjoy life too. There’s room for other things in life besides writing. You’ve got decades ahead of you in which you can write more books.
So… Take a few weeks off, chill out, enjoy the weather (sunny today, hurrah!), enjoy your family, pamper yourself (and I forbid you to check your sales stats once during that time!) The only person driving your schedule is you, so cut yourself a bit of slack.
I bet if one of your writer friends was in this position, this is pretty much what you would say to them.
Think of the break as research for your next book. You’re bound to find something out there that sparks your writer’s imagination. How an overwrought writer finds renewed joy in life and bounces back to write her next bestseller, perhaps? 😉
And now: take the rest of the day off!
Lots of love, Debbiexxx
June 25, 2013 at 8:41 am
Yes I agree with Debbie – you’re working too hard!
June 25, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Thanks Debbie, and you’re right – I do feel a pressure to write more books. I don’t feel down on Flora Lively at all, in fact I’m really fired up about it, but I guess I am a little jaded with the whole ‘being an author’ side of things. Like a few other blog-readers have said, it’s the trying to do everything, and live an actual life at the same time, that is hard. I want to find time to do a few craft projects, see friends, relax, read, start up my indexing training business I have an idea about, and lots of other things. But that’s life, isn’t it – there’s no point moaning. I’m lucky – incredibly lucky – that I’ve got such a full life and so many opportunities. I do realise that. So yes, I am going to take some time off soon – all of August I think! And maybe have a couple of days before that too 😉
Thanks again, Debbie, your advice is brilliant as always x
June 25, 2013 at 8:40 am
Crisis of faith! Wow congratulations! I think from reading other people’s blog etc, that this means that you have officially made it as an author!
Your writing is fab! In fact I have a five star review of Can’t Live Without that I still need to write and post on Amazon and I’ve put Family Trap on my kindle for my hols, so no doubt another excellent review will follow.
Besides, you can’t give up, your excellent blog posts are what keep my going in my quest to publish my own debut book Conditional Love. What would I do without my morning motivational pep talk from you.
Cut yourself some slack for God’s sake woman! xxx
June 25, 2013 at 7:34 pm
Thanks Cathy 🙂 Okay, I want to hear more about Conditional Love – I really love that title. I’m glad you find the blog useful – don’t worry, I’ll never stop blogging! You just try getting rid of me … xxx
June 25, 2013 at 8:56 am
Please don’t ever think about giving up as a writer, because you really are a writer – and one of the funniest, tenderest, most thoughtful writers (and people) I know. You have been working non-stop since your first book came out, so it’s natural to get this sense of exhaustion and doubt. I’m sure lots of highly-publicised, well-known writers do too. Writers must kill self-doubt before self-doubt kills them…But on the other hand, as Harlan Coben said: ‘Only bad writers think they’re good, all others are insecure.’
June 25, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Thanks Marina, that means so much to me – and especially as you’ve been there, going through it all with me, since way before that day. Great words from Harlan, and even better ones from you xxx
June 25, 2013 at 9:09 am
You have absolutely no reason to doubt yourself, Jo. Just take a look at all those 4 and 5* reviews for your books and all the comments you’ve had on your blog over the past year or so and hopefully that will go some way towards showing why you should continue to write. I think you just need to put the joy back into writing and take the pressure off a bit. I agree with Debbie that perhaps having a break – a proper break with no writing/stats/marketing/editing in sight may just do the trick. Tiredness is a killer too for demotivation.
We all go through this self-doubt (that was the subject of my guest post for you at the start of my blog tour!) but it will pass. You are a writer and a fabulous one at that. xx
June 25, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Hi Kate,
The funny thing is, it wasn’t a bad review that sparked this at all. I think it was the expectation of a bad review! But someone I’m close to had a really horrible, quite personal, review recently and I do think it’s very unfair that people can say what they like without any comeback. If they printed that in the Times, say, it would be libellous, but in an Amazon review it’s ok? Seems wrong. My own 1 star reviews don’t bother me at all – I’ve got a very thick skin now. I tend to get more annoyed on behalf of other people.
And yes, a break without checking stats or marketing or editing is very much on the cards. Not long to go now 🙂
Jo x
June 25, 2013 at 9:10 am
Yes. All of the above. It is normal to feel down as a writer (subst. actor, musician, artist). The trick to answering this is to tell yourself you’re giving it up finally…..and then see how you feel. Bereft? As if part of you has stopped living? Grief-stricken at the thought of never entering that ‘zone’ ever again? Aha. There’s your answer. Hahaha. Been there. Am there. Will be there again.
June 25, 2013 at 7:41 pm
Great advice, Carol. I would feel bereft if I stopped writing, and I know I never will. I guess it was the self-publishing aspect of it all I was feeling most down about, but judging by Jane Lovering’s comment below these feelings never go away even when you have an agent and a publisher. My first real writerly crisis! I feel better just for having shared it with you all. x
June 25, 2013 at 9:14 am
Don’t we all have ‘what the hell am I doing this for?’ days? I’m not convinced this is confined to writers – I travel and write, and have woken in many hotels wondering what I was doing. I suspect many a solicitor, or bricklayer, or mother, has days when they dream of an easier, richer, sweeter life.
Which doesn’t mean it’s wrong to dwell on such dreams, and maybe think about what they might mean. If you need excitement, and change, and writing doesn’t make you tingle any more – then maybe put your pen back in its case and start a business. Or you could just have a holiday, come back refreshed and discover a love for your characters all over again.
No one can decide this for you (much as you might like them to!).
June 25, 2013 at 7:45 pm
So right, Jo! And that was at the heart of my post – that ‘What am I actually doing here?’ feeling. I’ve had it often (too often) throughout my life, and I’ve learned to recognise it and listen to what it’s trying to tell me. Sometimes the message takes a while to work out – the number of brilliant jobs I’ve ditched on the back of a feeling like that! Anyway, at the risk of getting too heavy here, you’re absolutely right and thanks so much for commenting 🙂
June 25, 2013 at 9:33 am
Each time I write something new I underline the end with my uncertain pencil. I think may just have to lose some of this excessive humility. I keep writing because I am compelled. Who knows why?
June 25, 2013 at 7:46 pm
That’s really lovely. Thanks so much for your comment. ‘Underline it with my uncertain pencil.’ Brilliant. x
June 25, 2013 at 10:13 am
Hi Jo
Your words have so truly resonated with me having been in a very similar situation recently. But I would have to echo the many fabulous words of advice your wonderful readers have made here that unfortunately bad reviews are part and parcel of it all. In an attempt to cheer myself up at the time I found one of my favourite authors and had a quick scan of their reviews, like yours there were lots of 5 star honest ones and then I was shocked to see some appalling 1 star reviews. These reviews were hideous and made me think, was the reader actually reading the same book as the rest of us lol! Anyhow it made me feel better and then this weekend someone who is a prominent and well respected book blogger said they enjoyed every word of the very same book I had just received the negative review for. As writers we have to grow such a thick skin and learn not to let the words of others affect our mood.
You are one of the most talented writers I know and an inspiration. I do hope you will make the decision to continue entertaining us with your fabulous stories and sharing your experiences so honestly as you do on your blog.
Me? Well like you I couldn’t imagine not writing I took a bit of a break but am back typing away again, glutton for punishment heh!
Wishing you lots of luck with the new book but for today maybe just make the most if the sunshine, you deserve a break xx
June 25, 2013 at 7:51 pm
Thanks Charlie. I’m glad you’re back writing again! It must be even harder for you because your books are you’re own personal experiences, autobiographical, and therefore a negative comment must hurt all the more. And while you’re here, thanks for all the amazing support you give not just to me but to so many people. You are an inspiration – anyone reading this should check out Charlie’s books and blog asap! x
June 25, 2013 at 10:44 am
Lest we writers get too depressed about our bad reviews, take a look at these one-star reviews and see if you can guess which book they relate to:
1. “My suggestion to whoever edited this would have been to move the last hundred pages to the front, lose the first hundred pages altogther, edit down the middle hundred down to about ten and call the whole thing a very long short story.”
2. “Dialogue so stilted you will laugh out loud.”
3. “This story sucked, especially the ending.”
4. “This is the stupidest book I’ve ever read. Don’t buy it.”
Give up? OK:-_
1. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
2. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
3. For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by JK Rowling
Are we feeling better yet? 🙂
June 25, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Much better. Absolutely brilliant, John. I can’t believe 3! Very funny, thank you x
June 25, 2013 at 11:50 am
Everyone’s a critic theses days, eh, Joanne? You just have to laugh. I know it’s hard. I found a bad review of my novel yesterday that I hadn’t previously come across, and I got utterly fixated on it. It started with ‘I dont know if i would of read this book if i didnt get it for free’…. (I’m leaving in the typos)
Nice. BTW, you’re welcome for the free book!
The fact that the review above cited the book as ‘perfect’ — well, there you go, opinions differ– did nothing to dispel my dismay. But don’t forget that reviewers experience a little power surge when they post a review. For some people, it’s all they have going on in their lives. They want their opinion to matter, and extreme views get attention.
I had a quick look at the review on your page, and one of the critics has only ever reviewed one other book, and trashed it too, while the other gives either 1 star or 5, nothing in between… (manic, anyone?)
But, sure, you’ve written about this on your blog before, and you know how to deal with it. It hurts, it does. Go back and read the good reviews. Look at the comments above and enjoy a big warm glow inside for all the love and appreciation being sent your way.
I’ll be honest with you, I’m on my third novel and had pretty much lost my way in all this self-publishing malarkey, and was beginning to think that I just wasn’t cut out for it . I just wanted to write the books and have people find them. Then, I found your blog and now I’m all fired up again! You got me excited about all aspects of the process, and for that I owe you a huge thank you, not to mention for the invaluable information that you so freely share.
You touch people – through writing. It would be a shame to hide your light under a bushel. Plus, you know you don’t really want to…
Courage!
Amanda x
June 25, 2013 at 11:58 am
PS, LOVE John Dolan’s list!
June 26, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Me too Amanda! I’m so glad you are enjoying my blog – and don’t forget to email me directly if there are any specific questions you need answers to. The email link and address are on the About page. You’re absolutely right that I don’t want to give up writing – I don’t think I could if I wanted to anyway! And this post wasn’t really prompted by a bad review, not of one of my books anyway. I’m sure I’m just feeling twitchy about the new genre, and definitely in need of a break like everyone is advising me 🙂 Speak soon, Jo x
June 25, 2013 at 12:06 pm
I have those thoughts nearly cripple me about once a month. They’re not going away, so all I can do is refuse to listen to them and just keep going. It’s not easy, ’cause it’s so tempting to give in to them, but I have learned never to ask myself the question ‘why?’.
June 26, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Hi Michelle,
That’s a good point – maybe asking ‘Why?’ is just yet another clever form of procrastination, best to be ignored 🙂
June 25, 2013 at 3:15 pm
I’ve been there. I AM there too. Thanks, Joanne, for sharing your thoughts and showing me I’m not alone and that this is normal. Appreciate it much!
June 26, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Right back at you, Victoria. You’re not alone x
June 25, 2013 at 3:32 pm
I think about giving it all up about twice a week, mainly because I spend so little time writing compared to all the Other Stuff you have to do when you’re an indie author. I’m tired all the time and I suspect you are too. (And you have a young child!) I diagnose your problem as exhaustion, possibly creative burn-out. Rest is the answer – rest & lots of daydreaming.
There’s no answer to the bad reviews (& I’ve had some stinkers) but I find it helps if you look at what else these readers have reviewed. If they’ve reviewed no other books (frequently the case, I find) you know it’s a malicious review, possibly posted by a jealous author. If they’ve reviewed other books, look at what they give 5 stars to. You’re probably trying to write better stuff than that, which is why you got the rubbish review.
If people who read junk don’t like your books, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. 😉
June 26, 2013 at 2:42 pm
Thank you Dr Gillard, I agree with your diagnosis and I’ll take my cure as soon as possible 😉 Yes, with a little one it is very hard to find time to do all the Other Stuff – if only it could be delegated! I love your attitude to bad reviews, though – I said to someone only the other day that when you get a bad review you should be happy because it means you’ve managed to reach out beyond your target readership. xxx Jo
June 25, 2013 at 3:39 pm
You’re absolutely right – the balance of ‘power’ between author and reviewer is enough to frighten the bravest of scribes. And John makes a great point, that ALL creative writing gets slammed by somebody.
But I think, for indie publishing especially, you’ve identified that nobody else has stamped the seal of approval on our work (except perhaps those few beta readers) so there might always be a little voice in our heads telling us we’re not good enough. If a book flops but the Chief Exec of Penguin thought it was fantastic, I think that’s a different feeling for the author. Moreover, indie publishing is such incredibly hard work for relatively modest gains. Now that I’ve landed a day job, it makes absolutely no logical sense for me to carry on writing. But of course human beings are not driven by logic 😉
For you in particular, I wonder if perhaps you’ve been pushing yourself a bit too hard. Look at what you’ve achieved in just a couple of years – oh my gosh! I know after SSS came out, I was exhausted and felt like I’d run a marathon. Very few marathon runners turn round and do another one straight after; legs need time to rest and re-charge and I think maybe writers do, too.
You’ve already produced more than most writers EVER do, so if you are having these doubts and feelings, I suspect a few days or a couple of weeks of rest might be a good thing! I don’t think your problem is laziness but it might be the opposite?
June 26, 2013 at 2:47 pm
You’re so wise, Pauline – you’ve hit the nail on the head in lots of ways here. I do push myself too hard sometimes, and that’s a problem. And you’ve picked up exactly what I was talking about where vulnerability is concerned (which was why I called the post The Day I Thought About Giving Up *Self Publishing*, not Writing). Jane Lovering points out below that even writers with agents and publishers feel this pain too, and that they also feel they are letting someone else down who has given the work the seal of approval! Seems there’s no way to avoid beating ourselves up 😉 I’ve had a day off today and got my hair cut and I am feeling a lot more positive – and I’ve got all these wonderful comments to thank for that! xxx
June 25, 2013 at 4:02 pm
From the perspective of someone with both an agent and a publisher…we feel just as bad when a bad review comes, or we feel as though we’ll never write another sensible word, because we also feel as though we’re letting down those very people! People who have faith in us to make money for them! So I think these awful self-doubts are common to all writers (have been at the stage of thinking I would just give up and get a full time job, instead of the part time one, and actually be able to pay the bills for once). But if writing is in you (and it truly is in you) you can no more give up writing than you can give up breathing. You might hold your breath, once in a while, but the urge soon comes and you have to give a great gasp and get on with doing it.
Take a break. The itch will return, to just ‘scribble some notes, maybe an outline…’ and before you know it, you’re off again.
June 26, 2013 at 2:51 pm
Thanks Jane, and it’s so lovely to see you on my blog. Actually, what you said – about letting someone else down – is something I’ve never thought about before, which is very sobering. Most of the time I just feel incredibly lucky to be doing something I love so much, and then there’s that moment, like a glitch in the matrix, when I think, Hold on … what is this all about? Like Michelle said above, it’s a really good idea not to ask why! 🙂
June 25, 2013 at 5:07 pm
Hi Joanne, it’s part of being a writer having days when you think ‘ why am I bothering ‘ I have them from time to time, then tell myself. ‘I’m bothering because it makes me happy and clears my mind – to write. If it gets published, even better. Keep going. Maybe a walk or a swim would help the mind to have a break.xx
June 26, 2013 at 2:52 pm
Thanks Susan 🙂 It’s so good to know I’m not alone – I’m really glad I wrote this post just because I’ve found out that everyone has these crazy wobbles from time to time. Plus, answering all these wonderful comments is a great way of procrastinating and not doing any work!!! 😉
June 25, 2013 at 6:33 pm
Joanne, I only recently discovered your site and your blog but I have already learnt so much from you and I can see from other people’s comments that you are a lovely person and a good writer. I have been writing my first novel since April this year and it is frightening the life out of me! You are incredibly brave, as we all are, to invite other people to review our work. Try to hold on to that and remember that tomorrow is a new day 🙂
June 26, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Thank you, and it’s great to hear that you’re finding the site useful. I’m looking forward to hearing more about your first novel – do you have a blog where you’re talking about it? x
June 25, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Really touching post, Jo. Thanks for sharing. You’ve done so well in publishing your books these last couple of years (and I measure success here by you actually finishing the books and getting them out for sale since I’m struggling to finish just one novel! :p) This blog is an inspiration and encouragement to me as I’m sure it is to many others. And it’s nice to know you have these moments of insecurity just like the rest of us.
All I can say is there will always be those people who hate your work and rather than keeping it to themselves or displaying it in a respectful manner, they decide to spew hate all over the internet, not realizing how difficult it is to finish a book. And for writers – and I suppose any other artist – we put so much of ourselves into our work that negative reviews slice to the gut while positive reviews seem to glide right off….
I know it’s hard, but you have to ignore it and not let it bring you down because those people will always be there. Plus, the more popular/successful you are, the more they multiply. I mean, look at how many people rag on Dan Brown or JK Rowling. It’s par for the course, you know?
All you can do is keep your head up, keep positive thoughts in you head, and – for goodness sake – keep writing 🙂 Because there are those of us who appreciate your work.
June 26, 2013 at 2:56 pm
Thanks Layla – that was one of the reasons I took the plunge and just wrote exactly how I was feeling. I do tend to put a positive spin on most things here on the blog – no one wants to read a load of whining – but I thought it was important to be honest and share that I was having a ‘dark moment’. 🙂 While you’re here I can say thanks for all your support too – you’ve been with me from the first blog post, practically! xxx
June 28, 2013 at 7:43 am
Us writers have to stick together 😉 Stay Positive 😀
June 25, 2013 at 7:05 pm
Hi Jo – Struggling with my own trauma at the moment – possible fractured bones in my foot – but didn’t want to let this pass without some comment, probably not a very coherent one! I agree with others who say you’ve been pushing yourself really hard, and perhaps your mind is rebelling. Also, you’re bound to feel anxious because your novels are so loved by readers, but you’ve taken the brave decision to try something new. You’re challenging yourself which is great, but don’t overwhelm yourself with demands. When your novel is out with the beta readers, why not try some writing that doesn’t matter? Write anything that comes into your head without the pressure of having to be ‘good’. The joy in writing might still be lurking! Lindsay x
June 26, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Oh my goodness! Email following later today, I hope you’re okay. And thanks for the comment and your brilliant advice. Writing something that doesn’t matter – what a revolutionary idea (for me, anyway). One of my problems is I have to be useful all the time. I can’t even sit down for 5 minutes without ‘doing’ something, and it has to be something useful, at least by my own definition. I. Need. To. Learn. To. Relax… x
June 25, 2013 at 8:05 pm
Jo, the writing is in you. It won’t give up on you. As other wise people have said, you’re probably very tired. Take a few days off, even a holiday. And don’t write apart from a few scribbles in a notebook. Read instead.
Look at the number of good reviews and bad reviews; do the math, as the cliche goes. I think you know what the result is…
Happy resting and happy return in what? September?
June 26, 2013 at 3:02 pm
Thanks Alison, can I come to France to have a rest? 😉 You know what I’ve realised, answering all these comments telling me to take a break – I’m a bit frightened of being without something to do. I didn’t realise it before, but the idea of a vacuum fills me with a very uncomfortable feeling indeed! Which probably means I really, REALLY, need to learn to take a break. And probably explains why the minute I finish one thing, looking forward to having a ‘rest’, I immediately find something else to start on. Hey, this blog is like free therapy. Thank you 🙂
June 25, 2013 at 9:17 pm
Jo, I’m totally late to this but I just wanted to reiterate everyone else’s points.. DO NOT GIVE UP, that’s an order Marine! 🙂 Not that you would, I know. I completely get where you’re coming from and you know what? We’re our own worst enemies. I have actually forgotten what it’s like to have a normal life that isn’t consumed with writing, and trying to fit in family and work and everything else. But you must rest or you’ll make yourself ill. Goes for me too…take care and can’t wait to read Flora! xxx
June 26, 2013 at 3:10 pm
You’re never too late, Sarge! You’re like me, Celina, trying to juggle it all and still be a good mum and a good wife/friend/daughter/etc and be the best writer you can. It’s very hard, and I think it’s the things you know you are missing out on that make you ask why you’re doing it – I know what you mean about forgetting what it’s like to have a normal family life. When my daugther was about to start school, this time last year, I remember saying to my hubby, Wow, I’m going to have so much time to myself! Ha! x
June 25, 2013 at 9:20 pm
Hi, I’m new to your blog. It was a very thoughtful, honest post you wrote there.
Maybe, you’re tired because Indie writers have to do so much each time they release a book. It must be exhausting doing it all of the time.
You probably need a break, a bit of time to figure out what you really want.
June 26, 2013 at 3:11 pm
Hi Cassandra, thanks for your comment. There certainly is a lot to do, and sometimes the thought of it is as overwhelming as actually doing it, maybe more so! There is definitely a break coming up (although I’ll still be blogging) 😉
June 25, 2013 at 9:29 pm
I refer you to your blog post dated 26 March, 2012, which I have just read. Keep up that fighting spirit!
June 26, 2013 at 3:07 pm
Thank you! I’ve just been and found that, and here’s the link if anyone else is interested: https://joannegphillips.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/how-to-develop-a-thick-skin/
Well, isn’t it interesting how some problems never go away. I did ditch You Write On soon after, and in contrast their peer reviews were benign compared to Amazon’s! Little did I know how much more elephantine my skin would need to become once I published … 🙂
June 26, 2013 at 3:41 am
Thanks for sharing your heart – and you can tell by the comments so many of us go through the same thing. I haven’t hit the public expectation / feedback stage yet, but eventually I guess it’s going to figure in if the grand call of the page works itself out to conclusion.
Tiredness, expectations, details and the business of it all get us down. Hang in there, I hope you get some down time and reconnect with the joy of writing very soon!
June 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Hi Raewyn, thanks for your comment – I think you’re right and tiredness has a lot to do with you! Working into the night is not for me 🙂
June 26, 2013 at 4:29 am
I come at this a little bit differently, but bear in mind, that could easily be because I don’t yet have a book out there and I haven’t just been slated on a massive website, but I hope these next few rambling thoughts might make a little sense and remind you that you are actually still writing for you.
You see, I don’t quite agree with your first comments, and please don’t virtually slap me for this, remember what I said above. It’s not that I don’t agree, you didn’t make a statement to agree or disagree with a such, but the inference was there. About all the work and time you put in to your novel and someone who isn’t a literary critic and only bought it for pence having their say. The inference being, how dare they.
My view; it’s a book, in the public domain, within a place that has a system set up for leaving comments. It’s perfectly acceptable.
And one day when my work is out there, I do hope to keep this train of thought!
You see, we all like, love, hate or are indifferent to different books and stories we read. Reading is so subjective. But people are also varied. Some are kind, giving, generous, mean, hateful, thoughtless, selfish.
So my point in there somewhere is, deep down, when we write we want everyone to read it. It’s not about the money. Not initially. It would of course be wonderful. But we just want to be read. And in that reading there are readers who come from all walks of life and feel its ok to say anything they please. They do have a right to say it, but it’s the how they say it which is at times wrong. But. That one review you’re focusing on, is against how many great ones? I’ve heard that’s a very writerly thing to do.
Oh, that’s because you’re a writer who wants her stories to be read.
Don’t read the reviews for a week. Maybe don’t blog for a week. Immerse yourself in the stories, your notepad, and remind yourself why you’re really doing this.
And feel free to ignore my ramblings. It is 4:30a.m. And I’ve got a headache 🙂
June 27, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Hi Rebecca, you shouldn’t be up so late either! Not good. I get your point, but I really wasn’t bemoaning people leaving negative reviews, and this blog post wasn’t sparked by one (I haven’t had one recently anyway). While people certainly have the right to their opinions, and if you publish on Amazon you know that they give readers and other customers a platform to publish their opinions to the world, the review-based part of my post was about how wrong it is when these reviews are personal. Not about the book, the work, its literary merit or otherwise, but really nasty – and again, it hasn’t happened to me … yet. This is plain wrong, whichever way you look at it. If a reviewer in the Times printed something about a writer in the same vein as some of the reviews on Amazon he or she would be in serious trouble. But it’s still published, in the public domain. Which is why I think it’s wrong. But as I said, that was a tiny part of my overall malaise – my main thrust was more about a general fatigue, I think, which I’ve definitely recognised now. 🙂 x
June 27, 2013 at 1:48 pm
I’m glad to hear you haven’t had to read such nastiness aimed at you and I completely get what you mean. It gets personal and that’s not on.
Like I say, it was a bit of a ramble. I was tired myself. I hope you are feeling a bit brighter about your writing and why you’re doing it x
June 26, 2013 at 4:59 am
I can feel everything you are saying. There is a joy to writing for us writers. We write because we love to write, when someone bruises our creation it is painful because we put all of our self into the writing. We are human, we take it personal. We all need to find a way to wipe those outer critics off our backs because they create our inner critics. I am also in revisions on my first book and am feeling the pressure of what lies ahead when I self publish in a few months, when I get the ‘job’ part all worked out. It is work when we only want to be writers but we must have the job of putting ourselves out there. Take a breath then continue on! 🙂
June 26, 2013 at 5:21 am
Hang in there, Jo! Endure. The end is almost in sight and then you can take a well deserved break. I know exactly how you feel. The vulnerability of putting ourselves out there – Come Shoot Me, please! – I’m learning how to develop my own thick skin … plus the joy of writing nowadays seems to get buried by all admin, marketing and follow ups needed just to get the book up and running. But you’re almost there. Hang in there. Take a deep breath and be at peace. You know you have all your fans and followers support!
June 26, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Firstly Jo, HUGE (((((hugs)))))
I can totally understand where you’re coming from with this as its something i’ve been thinking about myself these past couple of months, whether I actually WANT to be an “author” 😦 I’ve seen so many people get published (traditionally) or publish themselves and suddenly its a job, and then, the fun goes 😦
I think it sounds like you could do with a break honey, and if you decide you don’t want to write for an audience anymore then don’t….you have to do what’s best for you. Life is too short to do things you don’t want to, or have become a chore. Have fun with what you do, and if that means trying something different then go for it.
You’ll ALWAYS be a writer, even if it is just for pleasure 🙂
xx
June 26, 2013 at 4:55 pm
A wedding planner, are they necessary? An agent/publisher, are they necessary? Just call the church, the florist, find a dress, decide on the food. How fortunate a writer is to work for himself, rely on himself, decide for himself the tittle of a novel, the cover the author wants! Self doubt will be the theme of your next work after experiencing it first hand. You will be equipped to write authentically about a universal experience. Embrace the moment and see where it takes you. I’m here cheering you on.
June 26, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Hi Joanne,
I’m glad you’ve had a better day today. I’ve only just started a blog so there’s very little on it at the moment but I’m taking inspiration from all the blogs I’m reading, like yours for example. The link’s here:
http://juliestock.wordpress.com/
I still have a lot to learn about it all though 😉
June 26, 2013 at 5:39 pm
Hi Joanne – another generous, honest and thought provoking blog post – you are one of my favourite bloggers and I really empathise on this issue. I have constant self doubts and confidence crises and I have been writing for over 40 years. Putting any creative work “out there” is absolutely bearing your soul and it is always unpleasant to get careless and shallow feedback, however thick skinned we try to become. I regularly consider giving up writing and I do take writing breaks, which can be helpful. I had not heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect – I checked it out and will remember this the next time I get a destructive review!