It’s the first Wednesday of the month which means it’s Insecure Writers Support Group day! Thanks as always to Alex J. Cavanaugh for hosting and organising this fantastic event. You can check out the rest of the participants here, and pop along to visit some more insecure writers and offer your support.
Now, I kind of did my IWSG post last week – you can click here to read about my recent wobbles – and the comments and support I got there truly took my breath away. If you’re feeling low this month, feeling like giving it all up, read through the comments to be reminded how supportive this wonderful blogging community really it – you are not alone. So for this IWSG post I’m going to be focusing on the ‘support’ aspect of the title. Here is my own little bit of wisdom – heavily borrowed and adapted from Susan Jeffers – to getting a bit of perspective and balance in your writing life.
First you need to draw a square with ‘writing’ in the middle, like this (it helps to do it in pencil):
This square represents your world, and this is what it looks like when writing – thinking about writing, focusing on writing, talking about writing – takes over. Now take your eraser and rub it out:
Yup, big empty space! So not only can writing overwhelm us, it can also make us scared of stopping. If you’ve been giving too much to one aspect of your life, deep down you know the rest of your world is in trouble, which makes you cling to the obsession even harder. But if you get burnt out, or just plain sick of it, what’s left? That big old empty box.
Right, now take your empty square and make it into 9 sqaures, like this:
Now start to fill these squares with all the things that are important to you – all the things you would spend your time on, equally or otherwise, if you could. Here’s mine:
Susan Jeffers also suggests things like Contribution (charity work, perhaps, or going to church) and Relaxation, and you could of course have more than one box for hobbies. This is your world, so you make it the way you want it. Now, take your eraser and rub out Writing again:
Well, I guess this is a bit cheesy, but you can see that suddenly the gap it leaves isn’t so huge after all. And now for the most important point of this exercise:
If you give attention to every square, every day, your life will be more balanced and work better!
It’s true, try it. I’d forgotten all this, which was why my life was getting out of shape – hence last week’s post. Doing this exercise from time to time helps you focus on what’s important, and reminds you to give attention to the aspects of your life that tend to get ignored. It’s also incredibly useful – and this was Susan Jeffers’ intention – for helping you gain perspective after a relationship has broken down, or you’ve lost your job. But I think it works just as well for writing.
This is going out especially for Vikki Thompson, and you can read her IWSG post here. And I think Vikki makes a really valuable point – it’s definitely possible to get bored doing something you love, if you don’t do anything else. Most professional writers have other work and interests, and without this their writing may not be so rich and interesting. So I’m taking the advice of all the wonderful people who commented on the blog last week, and I’m going to have a break, plan other activities and projects, and come back to writing refreshed and reinvigorated. Happy IWSG day everyone!
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July 3, 2013 at 12:38 pm
Thank you so much Jo 🙂
Wow….im off to draw boxes!
xx
July 5, 2013 at 6:49 pm
You’re welcome Vikki. I really hope it helps just a bit xxx
July 7, 2013 at 8:44 am
It has honey 🙂
Xx
July 3, 2013 at 1:52 pm
This is so great and couldn’t come at a better time for me. It’s not that I’m burnt out, it’s more like I feel twitchy when I can’t write something–almost as if I need a fix of words to keep me going! What a simple and beautiful perspective on sorting life into proper boxes.
I’m going to give this a shot! 🙂
July 5, 2013 at 6:49 pm
Thanks Kirsten, it makes me so happy that I could share that and others find it helpful. All credit to Susan Jeffers – I wish I’d thought this up all by myself 🙂 x
July 3, 2013 at 2:05 pm
Brilliant analogy and very true. I’ve always written when there’s lots going on, as an escape I suppose. If I have loads of time then the square definitely feels too big. Spot on.
July 5, 2013 at 6:47 pm
Hi Rachel, that’s a good point, and I think if there’s lots going on you have more to write about. I quite like it when I start to feel frustrated I’m not writing enough, when that germ of an idea is demanding to be paid attention to. But I think that editing for long periods can start to feel like a drain – that’s when the term ‘writing’ means so many more things. Needs 9 squares all of its own! x
July 3, 2013 at 3:31 pm
I love that. I’m going to try it. I am totally guilty of the out of balance thing. Great post! Have a good week!
July 5, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Hi Dawn,
Glad you found it a good idea. Come back and let me know how you got on 🙂
Jo x
July 3, 2013 at 3:49 pm
This is very clever and so true! It’s sometimes hard to remember there is more to life than meeting deadlines – most of which, in my case, are set by me.
Thanks, Joanne!
July 5, 2013 at 6:44 pm
Thanks Georgina – you’re just like me by the sounds of it, setting yourself tough deadlines and then struggling to meet them. I’m a tougher boss than I could ever had if I worked for someone else! xx
July 3, 2013 at 8:39 pm
What a brilliant way to show writers that there is more out there. I love this!
I’m sorry if I took your post the wrong way last week. Enjoy your other boxes! 🙂 x
July 5, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Hi Rebecca, you didn’t at all 🙂 I’ve always done this 9 squares exercise for various problems, and I thought it might help for writing too. Glad you like it 🙂 xxx
July 3, 2013 at 8:49 pm
I’ve really enjoyed reading yours and Vikki’s posts and can certainly relate to them – reassuring to know I’m not the only one who feels like this occasionally!
July 5, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Thanks Karen, it’s great to find out other people feel the same as you, makes you feel you’re not alone. (You’re never alone here) 🙂
July 4, 2013 at 8:59 pm
Hmm, it’s back to front for me. All my other stuff gets in the way of writing. Well, that’s a bit harsh, because it’s all important stuff, but it takes up so much of my time that when I should be writing, I’m vegging out!!
July 5, 2013 at 6:36 pm
Good point! For you, then, the 9 squares can be used to remind you to pay attention to WRITING as well as everything else 😉
July 5, 2013 at 12:30 pm
I like that idea – I started reading Susan Jeffers a few years ago, but didn’t get that far through.
It’s true though – I tend to fixate on writing as the be all and end all of what I want to do, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by it.
July 5, 2013 at 6:35 pm
Susan Jeffers is great – I really loved all the self-help stuff that was around in the late 1990s 🙂 I think a lot of creative things are like that – you need to immerse yourself in it but then it just takes over. And then, you get drained and lose the enjoyment. It’s a vicious circle.
July 6, 2013 at 2:44 pm
I really enjoyed this blog post – As a struggling writer – and I say struggling because I have plenty to write about but my psyche and time get in the way of completing anything short of a short story – I either get so overwhelmed because it just consumes me too completely or guilt sets in that I’ve not balanced enough of my “home” life with my writing life and neglect is the dominant effect of my writing. I like the box and tiny boxes – that really puts writing into perspective for me. I keep saying “one of these days” and people keep saying, “You’re missing your window of opportunity” and it perpetuates frustration and eventual “breaks” but if I can keep it in perspective with time balance – your little boxes – perhaps it will feel less like a chore and obsession and more like the happiness that it once filled me with.
July 6, 2013 at 2:45 pm
Reblogged this on How To Make It Look Easy and Still Have Time for Lipstick and commented:
I think this is a truly brilliant post on perspective.